what is the right thing?
A few years ago I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend. I gladly accepted and was excited and eager to be a part of her wedding. At the time I was a struggling student, but still budgeted well to cover my expected expenses. I had to miss several days of work, cover the cost of the dress, getting the dress altered, buying special garments, getting a manicure and pedicure, buying special shoes, expenses for the bachelorette night, etc…. I’m expecting my first child in a few months. I find it very suiting to send her an invitation to my baby shower, and kind of expect her attendance. A week before the shower I get a text message from her claiming that she isn’t able to attend because she’s in the middle of moving along with a few other lame excuses. I remind her with a text reply that the shower isn’t until the following week. She sends me a text reply that she is aware of that, but still insists that she won’t be able to make it. There is no extended traveling involved, actually the location is only a few minutes away from her. I find it very disappointing that I sacrificed so much for her and now she has no interest in doing anything for anyone that is the slightest inconvenience. I have missed a party and an art show of hers in the past. I live about an hour away from her with no transportation. I live in the city where I walk or use public transportation. She isn’t quite the host, especially for out of towners in my opinion. In the past, visits with her haven’t been appreciated. She often blows plans off and ignores people due to drama in her personal life. I did send an additional text reply to her where I mentioned that I figured sending her an invitation was a waste. She then replied that I’ve missed things she invited me to and she has never said anything nasty to me. I’ve said nothing more to that. I’m guessing that’s probably best, but I don’t think she quite understands how bad of a friend she’s being. Should I speak to her about this anymore? Just accept that she isn’t a good friend? I’m really irritated and am having trouble leaving this situation as it is.