Paternal grandmother being rude?
by Dawn
(Regina, Canada)
My 17 year old daughter is expecting in Sept. She and the father of the baby aren’t together, and he hasn’t offered any support at all — in fact, has been quite immature about most things. His parents have been uncommunicative (except that they have demanded certain things through him to her, such as wanting the baby baptized, and their family name on the baby, and access. We have also become aware they’re decorating the spare room as a baby room and have requested the father to demand half custody, which won’t be happening!). In fact, I haven’t talked to the paternal grandmother since she kiboshed an opportunity for adoption back in July.
My daughter’s friend and her mother (my friend) planned a baby shower for her, as my daughter has been feeling rather ‘alone’ lately. It’s out of town in a community 2 1/2 hours from where the father’s family lives, and they don’t know anyone here. Basically, it was a community shower held prior to the baby’s arrival since all her friends will be leaving to university soon.
The night before the shower I got a message online from the paternal grandmother probing into having heard that there was a baby shower planned, and did I think it would be appropriate for her to attend, as she was certainly willing to do so (!!!). I replied thanking her for her concern, and explaining that it was a group of my daughter’s friends, and that a family shower would be planned after the arrival, so it wasn’t necessary for her to be here.
So am I being ‘way out there’ touchy about this, or is she being extremely pushy? I feel that for someone whose son hasn’t stepped up to his responsibilities, and who hasn’t offered to help out either, that it was a very ballsy move on her part.
Help!!!
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