by: Sonya

Hi and thanks for your question.

As the mother-in-law, you do not have any “set in stone” obligations regarding the baby shower planning. Whoever is hosting the shower is responsible for basically everything.

But, as a courtesy, you should offer your help to the hostess. Just ask her if she needs help with anything, or offer to buy something, like the decorations or cake.

Keep in mind that some people get annoyed when either the mother or mother-in-law (or anyone else for that matter) tries to take over the planning when she has not been placed in charge.

Most hostesses would be glad to have someone help out, but it has to be under their terms. So if she does want your help, offer your assistance but always ask the hostess what she wants you to do first.

If she does not need any help, then all you have to do is show up with a nice gift and enjoy the party. And do not feel bad if your assistance is not needed. Sometimes it is just easier for the hostess to plan things out on her own.