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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I, as a mother of the father to be, have been deeply hurt by being left out of the baby shower planning. I was also left out of the wedding because I was the grooms mother. I think that all grandmothers, regardless of who's side it is on should be made to feel that they are involved 50/50. Just because you had a son should not make you an outsider. If it was not for the son then there would not be a baby. I was very close to my son when he was growing up and always looked forward to the day he got married and had children. But it has all been a big let down due to the fact that he was a son and not a daughter. I was so hurt by the fact of being left out that I called my mother-in-law and told her how much I loved and appreciated her and that I never realized it until I got done so bad at this very important time in life.

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Submitted by: Sonya

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Hi Margaret, This depends entirely on what the guest of honor wants. If the mother in law takes it upon herself to throw the baby shower, then she's basically in charge of everything. However, I think it's always polite to ask the mom-to-be who she want to be in charge of her shower. If the mother-in-law is not the person throwing the shower, then whoever the host is will be in charge of distributing duties. If that person gives the mother-in-law something to do, then fine. If not, that's fine too. A lot of mothers-in-law feel kind of left out if they are not a part of the baby shower planning, because they feel like since they are one of the grandparents of the new baby, that they should be included. However, a baby shower is all about the mom-to-be, not necesarily the new baby. When it comes time to start planning birthdays for the new baby, that's when the mother-in-law should definitely have some responsibility.

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