Charging guests for their plate...

by Christina
(Miami, FL)

I have been invited to a baby shower and have to send the host a check for almost $17 for my lunch/plate. I've never heard of guests having to pay their food to attend the shower. Is this more common than I think it is? I just thought it was odd and tacky. The invitation itself said to mail the check to...

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Charging guests for their plate...

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Jun 28, 2009

Charging for Baby showers is only in South Florida
by: Christina - Miami FL

I am so tired of getting bridal and baby shower invitations where I have to pay a fee to attend. I just received one for $25 PER PERSON and it was for couples. If you cannot afford to pay for a party, then the classy thing to do is have one you can afford. Not put the costs on your friends, people who do this are totally classless and plain rude. They are simply making money off their friends. They also throw more money on top of the restaurant charge so it can cover their other costs like the cake, party favors etc. I am speechless that people think this os ok. Please for anyone who is planning to have a bridal or baby shower and charge their guests, trust me your going to get shortchanged on the gift, also get some no shows and lose a cople of friends on the way. Anyone with atleast half a brain knows in their gut that this is just not the correct thing to do!!!

Apr 23, 2009

Paying is Normal
by: Emily (Miami, FL)

I think that it is perfectly normal for a guest to pay for a baby shower when it is held in a restaurant. I have attended serveral baby showers and I had to pay fo all of them. I paid with no hesitation. If you have that person's well being at heart what difference should it make if you pay or not? If a person wants to attend they will attend and if not, oh well. What about the people who do pay for their guests and get crap for a gift, is that tacky and a turn off? Basically that person just came for the FREE food and maybe if a price for food was set then that tacky, freeloading guess would not have came at the price of the host.

Mar 18, 2009

Yes and no...
by: Sonya

Is this baby shower being held at a restaurant or at someone's home? If someone is hosting a shower at a restaurant, then it is very normal for the host to request that each person pay for their own meal. People take this route to offset their own expenses.

But, there are much better ways to inform the guests that they are responsible for their own meal. The most common way is to state on the inivitation that the shower will be held at a restaurant, and that even though complimentary appetizers will be served (many hosts choose to pay for the appetizers themselves), guests may purchase lunch entrees if they wish. The invite should also state the average price of a lunch meal.

If the shower is being held at someone's home, then asking guests to pay for their meal is completely out of place. The best way to do this is to have a potluck baby shower, and the invite should state that the host is requesting that each guest bring a dish. This is a nice way to politely ask the guests to help out with the cost of throwing a party.

I personally have never heard of someone asking guests to include their meal money along with the RSVP. So you are correct in my opinion; that is a little odd and tacky.

Many people would argue that no matter what the scenario is, a party host should not ask guests to pay for anything. And I agree with that to some extent. If you are asking someone to be your guest, then that's how you should treat them - as a guest. However, many people today are not having the best of times financially.
So, if the host finds it necessary, she should be able to request a little assistance from her guests, and they should be understanding. But she has to know how to do it. And in this case, I think things could have been handled a little better.

Also, you, as an invited guest to the baby shower, should remember the whole point of this party, which is to celebrate the coming of a new baby. I think you have a valid reason to be a little turned off by the invitation, but I hope it does not ruin your wanting to go to the shower and enjoy the festivities. If you do intend on going, I would just pay the money and move on. And, don't feel bad if you have to downgrade the price of your gift, just a little, since you have to also pay for your food.

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Mar 18, 2009
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Submitted by: Sonya

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Comment
Is this baby shower being held at a restaurant or at someone's home? If someone is hosting a shower at a restaurant, then it is very normal for the host to request that each person pay for their own meal. People take this route to offset their own expenses. But, there are much better ways to inform the guests that they are responsible for their own meal. The most common way is to state on the inivitation that the shower will be held at a restaurant, and that even though complimentary appetizers will be served (many hosts choose to pay for the appetizers themselves), guests may purchase lunch entrees if they wish. The invite should also state the average price of a lunch meal. If the shower is being held at someone's home, then asking guests to pay for their meal is completely out of place. The best way to do this is to have a potluck baby shower, and the invite should state that the host is requesting that each guest bring a dish. This is a nice way to politely ask the guests to help out with the cost of throwing a party. I personally have never heard of someone asking guests to include their meal money along with the RSVP. So you are correct in my opinion; that is a little odd and tacky. Many people would argue that no matter what the scenario is, a party host should not ask guests to pay for anything. And I agree with that to some extent. If you are asking someone to be your guest, then that's how you should treat them - as a guest. However, many people today are not having the best of times financially. So, if the host finds it necessary, she should be able to request a little assistance from her guests, and they should be understanding. But she has to know how to do it. And in this case, I think things could have been handled a little better. Also, you, as an invited guest to the baby shower, should remember the whole point of this party, which is to celebrate the coming of a new baby. I think you have a valid reason to be a little turned off by the invitation, but I hope it does not ruin your wanting to go to the shower and enjoy the festivities. If you do intend on going, I would just pay the money and move on. And, don't feel bad if you have to downgrade the price of your gift, just a little, since you have to also pay for your food.

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