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Submitted by: Sonya

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Like I said before, this is a sticky situation. But if you simply cannot afford to add so many people onto your guest list, then the bride’s side should just have their own shower. I really don’t think there is any way out of the awkwardness of this situation. You just have to tell her what the deal is and she will just have to accept it. As long as you say what you have to say in a courteous manner, that’s really all you can do. But you also have to be stern and stick to you decision. Don’t let her run all over you and try to invite her side anyway. Good luck with this…

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Submitted by: Anonymous

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The shower will be at a club to which all the hostesses belong and will include lunch for each guest. It is a large list of guests, and I am not comfortable asking these friends to add 20 more of the brides' mothers' friends. First, the shower will be much too large, and second--it's just a much bigger expense. I absolutely feel that the brides side of the family should give a shower also--it is not right that my friends always bear the burden because these other women just don't feel like doing the work. My question is maybe unanswerable--as what I need to do is find a politically correct tactic that informs the mother of the bride that her friends need to have a shower also...

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Submitted by: Sonya

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My personal opinion is that whoever is hosting the shower should accomodate for both sides of the family, if possible. It's not just one side of the family that will be celebration the birth of the new baby. However, if this is financially impossible, I would do my best to scale down in order to save money, and hopefully allow my budget to accomodate for everyone. If you cannot afford to feed everyone or give each person a party favor, would you consider something like a potluck baby shower? Ask all of your guests to bring their favorite dish and just have a gathering of families and food. This idea alone will save you tons of money because you won't have to worry about buying a lot of food. If some of your guests cannot cook or do not have the time, ask them to bring drinks, disposable tableware, or buy a dessert, etc. If you do not like the idea of a potluck shower, you could consider just having 2 separate showers, one for each side of the family. But if at all possible, I think you should find a way to have everyone in attendance. Whoever is throwing the party does have the right to invite or not invite anyone of their choice, but try to avoid leaving people out.

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